My glass is empty: Week one

I'm sure you'll all be thrilled to know I survived the first week.

Not a drop of alcohol passed my lips.

Saintly, I know.

But let's be honest that's the easy week. It's barely an effort to give up alcohol for seven days. Especially since I stayed in on Saturday night and my Friday night was a non-alcoholic event (Flying South; everyone should go next month!). I did a reading, the first time I've read my stuff out loud for actual people. That was pretty awesome. And I did meet people in the whiskey bar beforehand. I ordered a cranberry juice. So there is that, a small victory. I was definitely taking baby steps, testing the water. Quite literally. Week two will have more interesting things. I'll do something exciting this week, well at least I'll try.

                 Liz has been nominated for "Devil of the Week" for trying to get me to drink on Sunday night. 

I was thinking about alcohol this week, about my relationship with it. I don't think I have a negative one per say but when you look at binge drinking stats it's clear I don't have a healthy one. To be honest, I doubt anyone I know does. It's surprisingly easy to join Binge Drinking Club.

Rule one: We don't talk about Binge Drinking Club.

Rule two: We always complain about our hangovers.

So, I figured I'd look at it in a way I could apply to my own drinking. Which was of course with wine. If a bottle of wine contains seven standard drinks (I would of said four but you know...) and women should only have eleven standard drinks a week....then how fast is the train travelling...sorry couldn't help myself...anyway...if you're not supposed to have these eleven drinks in one sitting, than if you do have a bottle of wine before you head out and a couple more in the bar, BAM, you're a binge drinker. I think that's probably a regular night for most of us. Binge drinking is defined as "six or more standard drinks in one sitting" so just finishing that bottle of wine alone makes you a binge drinker (http://www.yourdrinking.ie/about-alcohol/what-is-a-standard-drink/, 2015).

  Standard drinks measurements. 

                                           (www.yourdrinking.ie/about-alcohol/what-is-a-standard-drink/, 2015)

I'm starting to question my drinking history. I can finish two bottles easily and not give it a second thought. And yes, I am referencing my blog. Take that apparently wasted college education.

I love drinking; love the social aspect of it, love the giddy end of the day/week/semester/exam feeling you get with that first pint, catching up with your friends, making some new ones, the banter we all have. I love the easy acceptance we have in this country and how you're not judged for needing a pint at the end of a tough day. I don't love the fights, the messes, the vomiting or the abuse you see shopkeepers, bouncers, bar people, bus drivers, wait staff, basically anyone who is sober and working, gets. I don't like how alcohol helps some people regress to toddlers; throwing tantrums and fists when they don't get their way. I usually avoid town on a Saturday night. It doesn't feel safe. I'm a Monday to Thursday girl. Any of those evenings, I'm happy to be there, usually in the same bar having chats and a couple of drinks. But once the weekend arrives, it all gets a bit too real. The bad relationship becomes all too clear.

And I think alcohol is the excuse but it's not the reason. Oh the joy the bubbling recklessness of alcohol brings, the lack of inhibitions, all those silly rules holding you back. The things people do when they're drunk are the things they want to do when they are sober but aren't brave enough. You want to text that guy, kiss the girl, tell your secrets, and other ridiculous, reckless things. Alcohol gives you the freedom, the possibility to do all these stupid things you can't do because of responsibility and obligations and what you should be doing. It's the get out of jail free card, the alter ego that made you do it. And it's the apology you barely need to explain, the "Sorry, I was drunk" excuse that can be easily forgiven.

I know last year that's what I used it for. The chance to do whatever the hell I wanted. Text that guy again, stay up all night even though I had work the next day, the chance to feel alive when I was sinking...and that's when it gets dangerous; that's when you know you're in trouble.

Life is so much more than those reckless nights and messy mornings.

It's more than gossip and drama.

It has to be.

(Some cool links I found if you want to figure out how much you're actually drinking: http://drinkhelp.ie/alcohol-and-you/how-much-am-i-drinking/calculator/ (I worked out my last night, the one that sent me on this little journey, and apparently I drank 14 standard drinks and 1330 calories of alcohol that night. Holy hell. Also I'm pretty certain I left out a few drinks I couldn't remember.) http://www.drinkaware.ie/know-your-drinking/drinks-diary/)

Also the reason I'm doing this can be found here.
Week two & three are here.