Can't we all just get along?

Okay, so, it's been awhile since I was so enraged I felt the need to do a blog post (here and here and here) but there is the rhetoric doing the rounds at the moment- see Trump and here and here and here and here and here (I could go on), the alt-right, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, (I meant to put in links for each bullshit but the news was too depressing).

It is starting to seep into my skin. It is creating a burning rage and hopelessness and fear and sadness that I just cannot deal with anymore. I can't deal with all the hate being directed at refugees, at POC, at muslims, at women, at, at, at, at.... (again with the links, but god, have you been out there recently? The internet is a place currently filled with hateful vitriol and I can't.)

I just can't.

    Conversations about home (at a deportation centre)

                               Warsan Shire

And if I have to listen to one more argument about how allowing refugees into our country is as good as signing ourselves up for a terrorist attack, I think I may actually scream. I ended up in an argument on Facebook today (yes  I know!) with someone making that point and I finally, finally, finally figured out an analogy that explains why I get so frustrated by the argument of tarring everyone with the same brush. (Imma call it The Tarring Brush Argument. Inventive, I know.)

You've read this far so I can only assume you want to hear it.....

Men and violence against women.

Yep. That's it.

I mean for example,"between January 1996 and the end of June 2005, 109 women were murdered in Ireland, 72 of these in their own homes. In those cases which have been resolved (up to the end of June 2005), all were perpetrated by a man and almost half were perpetrated by the woman's partner or ex-partner." If we're using The Tarring Brush Argument logic, that ALL refugees are dangerous or should be punished because some are, women really should avoid men at all costs. You guys are apparently hella dangerous.

Another good example, "Worldwide, almost one third (30%) of women who have been in a relationship report that they have experienced some form of physical and/or sexual violence by their intimate partner in their lifetime. Globally, as many as 38% of murders of women are committed by a male intimate partner."


And don't forget, "the Sexual Abuse and Violence in Ireland (SAVI) Report (2002) found that one in four women had experienced some form of sexual abuse in their lifetime and one in five had experienced sexual assault as adults." Women obviously need to stop allowing men into their lives because the facts prove that leads to disaster. Men are obviously all awful and terrible people and we should be very careful about letting them into our homes, workplaces, hearts.

And, like the refugee argument, it is definitely fair to tar them all with the same brush.

I don't even have anything else to say. You get it, right? You get how bullshit it is?

I'm just tired of all the hate. How about we try the other one for a while. You know the one I'm talking about. The not hate one. The breaking down walls one. The realising we're all just human beings floating on a piece of rock in a vast universe and we all just need to GROW THE FUCK UP. The one where we don't judge people on their colour of the skin or where they are from or who they love or their gender or any other thing but we try and have a conversation with them instead. I mean you can always decide they are an asshole after. Lots of people are assholes. Lots aren't. But how about trying to find that out before you decide it straight off.

Can we all please just try to be better? I mean, fucking Donald Trump is doing a bang up job spreading hate and misogyny and racism and nationalism and cruelty and xenophobia and prejudice and on and on and on? So, really, now is the time to decide whether or not we allow our fear to win, our prejudices to win, our unquestioned bias to win. How about we change how we treat people, remember they are just people, they eat chips and sleep and laugh and cry just like us, and decide to take one tiny step in making the world a better, warmer, kinder place? Be braver? Be louder?

Kindness never, ever, ever goes to waste.

Trust me on that.