Can't we all just get along?

Okay, so, it's been awhile since I was so enraged I felt the need to do a blog post (here and here and here) but there is the rhetoric doing the rounds at the moment- see Trump and here and here and here and here and here (I could go on), the alt-right, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, (I meant to put in links for each bullshit but the news was too depressing).

It is starting to seep into my skin. It is creating a burning rage and hopelessness and fear and sadness that I just cannot deal with anymore. I can't deal with all the hate being directed at refugees, at POC, at muslims, at women, at, at, at, at.... (again with the links, but god, have you been out there recently? The internet is a place currently filled with hateful vitriol and I can't.)

I just can't.

    Conversations about home (at a deportation centre)

                               Warsan Shire

And if I have to listen to one more argument about how allowing refugees into our country is as good as signing ourselves up for a terrorist attack, I think I may actually scream. I ended up in an argument on Facebook today (yes  I know!) with someone making that point and I finally, finally, finally figured out an analogy that explains why I get so frustrated by the argument of tarring everyone with the same brush. (Imma call it The Tarring Brush Argument. Inventive, I know.)

You've read this far so I can only assume you want to hear it.....

Men and violence against women.

Yep. That's it.

I mean for example,"between January 1996 and the end of June 2005, 109 women were murdered in Ireland, 72 of these in their own homes. In those cases which have been resolved (up to the end of June 2005), all were perpetrated by a man and almost half were perpetrated by the woman's partner or ex-partner." If we're using The Tarring Brush Argument logic, that ALL refugees are dangerous or should be punished because some are, women really should avoid men at all costs. You guys are apparently hella dangerous.

Another good example, "Worldwide, almost one third (30%) of women who have been in a relationship report that they have experienced some form of physical and/or sexual violence by their intimate partner in their lifetime. Globally, as many as 38% of murders of women are committed by a male intimate partner."


And don't forget, "the Sexual Abuse and Violence in Ireland (SAVI) Report (2002) found that one in four women had experienced some form of sexual abuse in their lifetime and one in five had experienced sexual assault as adults." Women obviously need to stop allowing men into their lives because the facts prove that leads to disaster. Men are obviously all awful and terrible people and we should be very careful about letting them into our homes, workplaces, hearts.

And, like the refugee argument, it is definitely fair to tar them all with the same brush.

I don't even have anything else to say. You get it, right? You get how bullshit it is?

I'm just tired of all the hate. How about we try the other one for a while. You know the one I'm talking about. The not hate one. The breaking down walls one. The realising we're all just human beings floating on a piece of rock in a vast universe and we all just need to GROW THE FUCK UP. The one where we don't judge people on their colour of the skin or where they are from or who they love or their gender or any other thing but we try and have a conversation with them instead. I mean you can always decide they are an asshole after. Lots of people are assholes. Lots aren't. But how about trying to find that out before you decide it straight off.

Can we all please just try to be better? I mean, fucking Donald Trump is doing a bang up job spreading hate and misogyny and racism and nationalism and cruelty and xenophobia and prejudice and on and on and on? So, really, now is the time to decide whether or not we allow our fear to win, our prejudices to win, our unquestioned bias to win. How about we change how we treat people, remember they are just people, they eat chips and sleep and laugh and cry just like us, and decide to take one tiny step in making the world a better, warmer, kinder place? Be braver? Be louder?

Kindness never, ever, ever goes to waste.

Trust me on that.

The American President...

My mam always says if she could go back to being 25, she would move to Washington DC and work in The White House. She has followed American politics for as long as I remember. She worked in the Taoiseach's office. She still fights for people who cannot fight for themselves, writing letters to all members of the Dail and holding meeting with the opposition and the government. Politics have an important place in our house, Irish and foreign. The ideas we discuss over the breakfast table have changed how I view the world. My mother is a woman who truly believes that the power is in the people's hands. If I am angry or frustrated, she tells me to write a letter, to use my voice, to make something happen.

Politics has shaped me. Just like America has. I've watched so many TV shows, so many terrible movies. I've read their books, listened to their music, been influenced and helped along by American pop culture, by their ideals, by the very idea that they are always fighting to be better.

Unless you're an immigrant or an African-American or disabled or LGBT 
or a women or you know not, white, straight and christian. 

I am proud to be Irish. There is an implicit cool factor in it. I have travelled the world and have yet to meet a person who does not react with some form of joy when I tell them where I'm from. It is a massive part of my identity. I am also proud to have spent a year in New Zealand. I would go back in a heartbeat. It is beautiful. I have only spent two months travelling around America but have been influenced by it my whole life. Places you live, you have travelled, you learn from, they shape who you are. Sometimes in ways you don't even realise.

America made themselves the moral high ground of the world. They chose that path. They fought for it. They are The United States of America, with their Statue of Liberty and their "give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore." They told us they embodied freedom and liberty and equality and solidarity and peace and humanity. They had so many people, so many nationalities, all who came to them through hard paths or easy, but all to live in their free land.

America is the reality TV star that welcomed us into every aspect of their life, that demanded access to ours, and then got annoyed when it turned out they had some pretty hideous skeletons in their closet and we wouldn't turn around. We wouldn't let them hide. I watched this election with anger and pain and hurt. I hated every moment of it. I never knew how much America meant to me until I watched it tear itself apart.

He can't actually believe the total
crap he is preaching, right?

I have a pain in my belly I am so angry. I just watched Reince Priebus explain away everything that has been expressed in this horror show of an election because of what Trump said in his victory speech "I pledge to every citizen of our land that I will be a president to all Americans." I guess it's time to forget the sixteen months of angry rhetoric. No apology has been issued for all the damage and hurt he has created. We must forget Trump has legitimised hate and bigotry and sexism and racism and xenophobia. We must move on and not pay attention to the reports coming from across the United States of an increase in racism and sexism and hateful words and actual attacks and fear within disability rights advocacy groups and the spike in calls to suicide hotlines within the LGBT community because the Vice President-elect Mike Pence believes in conversion therapy among OTHER things and will be helping shape Trump's policies. We mustn't react to the fact he has put a white supremacist as his chief strategist or that people are throwing racial slurs at Michelle Obama. We mustn't remember that Trump has no political experience, and has had rape charges brought against him, among other court cases, and THAT video and the tweeting and all the rest of the Trump-ness. We mustn't focus on him trying to squash protests with a tweet and then having to backtrack twelve hours later because, hi, free country, remember?

Why don't you like me?!?!? Gawd! Protests across fifteen cities doesn't seem small. 

Now that Trump is President-Elect, we're being told that we must forget he played demagogue for the past year and a half. Americans must now get behind him and come together and forget the KKK endorsed him and he is skeptical of climate change and also, hey, has the codes to nuclear weapons. Don't worry! He was only playing at being being a terrible person! He's actually a great guy!

When you legitimise hate, both in United Kingdom and now in America, when you belittle, dehumanise and preach it from a place of authority, you make the whole world a worse place. You teach children they are worth more or less because of the color of their skin, or the person they are attracted to, or their gender. You give bigots and racists and misogynists and hate filled little people the idea that they are right, that their ideas aren't archaic and wrong. You tell them they are better than others because they fit a mould that humanity has outgrown. We have outgrown you. We are better for it. Don't you forget it. This is your last hurrah. Your victory has dragged us from our complacency. We will not allow this to happen again.

People have been telling me I must allow these people to speak because that is what freedom of speech means. But. But. But. Here's the thing, freedom of speech comes with a hell of a lot of responsibility. Yes, you can say what you want. Of course. But you must realise that right comes with consequences. You can say what you want, but, you can't get away with it. The outcome to your actions, your words, your hate, include such things as; Unfriending. Arguments. Debates. Protests. Boycotts. Investigations. Prison.

free speech

1. the right to express any opinions without censorship or restraint
2. 
   

Hate speech

     Speech that offends, threatens, or insults groups, based on race, color, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, disability, or other traits.

I'm not American. I have my own crappy politicians to deal with, but, when you hold yourself up as the shining light of civilisation, when you tell the world again and again and again how you are the beacon of free society, then you don't get to hide.
America, the world is watching and we are afraid.
America, the world is watching and we are angry.
America, the world is watching and we expected so much more.


                      

There are things we must do now. We must no longer be indifferent. We must make the people who run our countries accountable. We must fight for what we believe is right. We must have the tough conversations and protest when we need to get our voices heard. No more lazy retweeting. No more backseat activism. To create any change is difficult but now is the time to learn and to fight. This cynicism and sarcasm and wit and banter and craic we've all been living with, we need to put it away. Not forever. Not for all things. Maybe, though, it is time we got some notions. Maybe it is time we decided that Ireland will be a small beacon of hope in all the grey.

The Irish are loved worldwide. We are the best craic, the most welcoming, the friendliest, the cool kids at the party. Remember the Euros. We were voted the best fans. They turned the Eiffel Tower green, white and orange. We were voted the best fans during the Rugby World Cup in 2011 as well. That is just one small measure of the power we hold just by being kind, welcoming, respectful people.

Let us bring all that goodwill home. Let us be better to each other. Let us start there and see if we can take a step forward after all the hate of 2016. We have a reputation throughout the world. Why not use that influence for good? Why not try better? Why not take a stand?

I know I am going to try.
Because the cynicism is getting me nowhere.
It is getting none of us anywhere.